Religion: Did we get it wrong?

Lately I've spent a lot of time focusing on how people view "religion." Specifically in the "Christian" world. I have been extremely blessed to have been raised in a Christian home, with parents who have spent their lives teaching me about the Lord. I grew up going to church every sunday and learning that was a big part of this whole Christian deal. I spent 8 years at a Christian school learning everything about my religion from simple Bible stories like Noah's Ark to an apologetics class that debated abortion, homosexual marriage, and predestination. I have had every opportunity imaginable to discover more and more about my religion.

But it wasn't until college that I began to realize some of the deep-rooted issues within my body of believers. I began to open my eyes to see that some churches I visited(unlike my home church :)) were not interested in developing or discipling me. These places had no intention of welcoming me as a fellow sister in Christ. I visited several times, only to look around every week at what seemed to be a show. Now I am not at all saying there are not genuine people who are there solely to worship the Lord, but I would say the majority of "Church-goers" these days are there for the wrong reasons and sometimes...no reason at all. It's the "RIGHT thing to do." We are taught in this society that being a Christian is much focused on "doing the right thing." Go to church. Don't curse. Don't drink. Don't lie or steal or cheat. Be a "good" person. Of course they tell you the most important thing actually is your relationship with the Lord, but they don't act like that is the truth. They don't spill into your life. They don't overwhelm you with open arms and ask how you're doing. How you are REALLY doing. Not many people in the church seem to be looking for friendships within the body of believers. Not a whole ton of people who share this precious belief seem to view it as something BEYOND a religion.

So I thought to myself... where did we go wrong? What does the Lord really want? What does he expect of us? Where and when are the times in my life that I have experienced God in the purest of moments. What was I doing? OF COURSE, He wants us to be good people. Of course he wants us to obey Him and his commandments. Of COURSE he wants us to attend church and to fellowship with one another. I am not saying these are bad things by any means...but I am saying we did something wrong. We twisted it. We've turned church into a weekly event and we've lost the Lord's unique design for his body of followers.

The more I learn about the Jesus.. and his life and ministry on this earth, the more I can't help but think this verse holds so much meaning for what we are supposed to do and who we are supposed to be. James 1:27- "Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world." We are meant for something greater than a weekly event. We were designed to help others, to love others. When I ask myself the question, "What was I doing when I experienced God the most?" I immediately, always think of doing something for someone else. I think of young teenage girls that I've spent hours pouring my soul into attempting to show them a glimpse of an eternal love I've been given. I think of giving local families gifts and groceries for Christmas with my entire family. I picture building a house for an elderly couple who had immigrated to America through habitat for humanity. I think of beautiful, precious children being carefully encouraged and reminded that they are loved because they don't have anyone else investing in them. Pure, innocent, humble service is when I feel like I've accomplished something the Lord appreciates. 

I just wish that sometimes Christians would stop being so focused on the politics of it all. To Stop being consumed with what theology is correct or following every single little rule... and start realizing we serve a God who wants us to serve. He wants us to serve Him and serve others. He wants us to spend our time and energy investing in people, fighting for justice, doing good and loving. Isaiah 1:17- "Learn to do right, seek justice. Defend the opressed. Take up the cause of the fatherless, plead the case of the widow."  Jesus spent his time eating with the dirtiest, lowest people. He invested in the people we gawk at. He protected the people we drive by everyday and turn our heads at. He loved everyone..even the people who had made one too many mistakes or who seemed unlovable. He was the ultimate servant... why wouldn't we follow his actions?

Mark 10:42-45 -"You know that those who are regarded as rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, their high officials exercise authority over them. Not so with you. Instead, whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant, and whoever wants to be first must be slave of all. For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many."

I Have Dreams for my Life...

Shingles are kickin' tail and takin' names... haha But I'm trying to get through. Some days are better than others but I am SO thankful for BEN...(he waited 2 hours at the pharmacy for my meds, brings me food, pats my head with a rag, and makes me laugh when I'm all depressed about being cooped up.) I'm thankful for my friends who are practically rotating turns keeping my spirits up and checking in on me. And of course my precious family, especially my parents who check on me 24/7 :) 

But that is enough about the dumb shingles...

I found out about SUCH an incredible PERFECT opportunity today. It is an internship through the United Methodist Church for 10 weeks this summer in Uganda. Africa has always been a dream of mine...and ironically enough... Uganda has always been the place on my heart. It is everything I've been looking for- for my first mission trip and it feels like the Lord is lining everything up perfectly but I don't want to rush into anything and of course want to make sure that this is exactly what the Lord wants for me.

But if I'm being truthful.. I'm also scared. One of my biggest fears is being away from my home and my family and friends. That is such a challenge for me. Of COURSE I want to do it and WANT to be challenged-- but I can't help but be nervous about 10 weeks on my own in a foreign country. 

I'm telling you all and looking for tooooons of prayer. :) I think this opportunity is UNBELIEVABLE and I'm really really excited but would love to hear some advice and encouragement from the Lord and from you guys! :)

much love friends :) talk to ya soon.

Phewww.. what a month!

Sorry folks.. I know it's been almost a full month since my last post-- but what a busy month it's been.

So let's see-- I finished finals and my first semester as a sophomore! WOO HOO. I know it's not a huge deal but college is tough and I'm learning that not everyone can or does do it... so I'm going to be proud. :) yayyy. I went home to start my Christmas break and it was lovely. I so enjoyed being back in Columbus with all my precious friends and family.

I spent my first week in North Carolina with Ben's family--staying at his sister & bro-in-law's humble abode. =) lovely parsonage in the mountains...yep! it's as perfect as it sounds. We had a blast. We shopped, toured, looked, played, ate, laughed. Ben's parents did WAAAY too much for all of us of Christmas but I know we're all thankful for every penny they spent and minute they worked. I love being with people and learning about them and one thing I had a chance to reflect on is how unbelievably blessed I am to have wound up with such a phenomenal family to marry in to. I've learned something valuable from each and every one of them and I love to grow closer to them all the time.

When I came back home the Christmas Eve/Christmas planning madness began...
It was errands and trying to see all my friends to exchange presents, making sure I got everyone a gift, worrying about money, etc. I am an easily stressed person to begin with, so adding extra pressures really sends me in to quite a tizzy. I have always been a super type-A, take control, obsessive planner, kind of person but I never really knew the worrying and stress I do to myself could take such a toll on me.

I got through the stress and had the most beautiful Christmas Eve with my mom's side of the family and some of our closest family friends--my dad even joined us. This is where I'm going to throw a special shout out to my parents...all 3 of them. My parents are divorced and have been the majority of my life...but they are two of the best parents on the planet. They have been so beyond classy and mature dealing with blended families and it never ceases to amaze me. It is definitely an unnatural situation but my parents have 100 percent done everything in their power to always make me as comfortable as possible. They have always kept any issues or problems between them and constantly remain a co-parenting unit even though they are apart. This is how I can sit in between my mother and father at Christmas Eve dinner and next to my stepfather, while my dad and mr. john talk about politics and business. What a blessing. That's the greatest present either one of them will ever give me...

After dinner- myself, Mom, John, Jacque and Ben spent the late evening do our tradition of opening presents. We had such a good time and Mom and John spoiled all of us-- as always. :) Ben and I stayed up to clean the house for hours and it quickly became one of my fondest memories with him-- he is kind to me, keeps me consistently laughing and has the most incredible servants heart. He teaches me how to be better ALL the time. So blessed. On Christmas Day I spent a wonderful morning and afternoon with my momma...our other tradition. :) then I quickly rushed off to Macon to spend a wonderful but way too short trip doing Christmas with my dad's side of my family :) had a blast though. But that day I had noticed what looked like a couple of bug bites on my shouder. I did the normal-- apply benadryl so it won't itch, but that just wasn't doing the trick. That night in Macon I showed my doctor- a.k.a my MeMe, who called in all my aunts to help diagnose- they applied cream and sent me into a mini coma with benadryl. :) I shrugged it off thinking it was just bug bites and continued on.

Long story short-- I started having some pain in my rib cage a few days later. It started mild but last Friday it quickly grew worse. At dinner with Ben's parents I was on the verge of tears and by the 1st quarter of the hockey game I was huddled over in the most intense pain I've ever felt. Ben quickly took me to the emergency room where my mom and ben's parents both followed. All this to come to find out I have Shingles-- which were apparently reactivated by stress. I then had to cancel my new years eve trip to south carolina with my best friends and give away my ticket to passion 2012. :( not the most fun things I've ever done but I know this was the Lord's way of slowing me down. I do too much. stress too much and overthink too much... so I am now working on DE-stressing my life. Slowly but surely I am learning.

I am BACK at school for JanTerm and I had my first class today and I am actually quite thrilled to learn more. My class is one of the service-learning JanTerms so it's overall theme is Servant Leadership but my specific section is focusing on Shelter. We'll be learning about all different types of shelter and habitats and the sociology of it all. We also will be doing hands-on, manual labor with Habitat for Humanity as a form of servant leadership. This class is really catering to a pure passion of mine-- which is serving others. Actually Ben is in my class too (he's the TA, so he's a little more high up. haha) but this is a huge part of what we feel is our calling as missionaries. We both have huge hearts for service and helping others and I'm really excited to see what this can teach us and how the Lord will use it to shape our future.

So be on the look out for some exciting JanTerm adventures and updates on Shingles...hoping to be clear  of it ASAP.

Sometimes you just have to laugh at yourself...

Life can be so grumpy sometimes. So overwhelming, frustrating, and stressful. Especially around the holiday's... which is so unfortunate since it is meant to be a time of joy and celebration. But it turns in to finals for college students, party-planning, decorating, cleaning, and christmas shopping for families, bills to pay, presents to buy, money worries.. it turns in to stress. We all have stress. Some perhaps more than others or in different ways, but we all have that mental to-do list constantly hanging over us and haunting us. But in the chaos and the overwhelming stress God has such a unique way of forcing me to find perspective and relax.

He makes me laugh at myself. When I try to do too much, worry about too much, fix too many things, and solve too many problems I always lose focus and do really silly things. He reminded me twice today...

First, I am a "worry wart" to say the least. So the second final exams were over for me, I started to check panthernet constantly to see my final grades. So for days I've been checking...and complaining because none of my professors had put my grades up yet. YUCK, not proud of being a whiny, worried, complainer. But anywho, as I was checking my grades today, I realized I'd been checking midterm grades the entire time--instead of final grades. WOW. As I sat at the computer frantically looking at my grades, I just started giggling at the irony of the whole situation. How silly my worry was...how meaningless my stress. 

Then I went into Publix to do some grocery shopping. As I was checking out at the register, I set my wallet on the counter by the credit card machine while I began to read a very important email from one of my professors about a huge project I had done that practically decided my final grade for that class. I was completely enthralled by this email and lost all concentration. I heard the attendant faintly repeat my total as I quickly began to rummage through my purse to find my wallet. I grew frantic immediately and I just thought "well, i must've left in my car." So I told the woman I would run to my car really fast to search for my wallet and apologized about a hundred times on my way out. As I searched my car in a panic only to find absolutely nothing-- I immediately went straight into the mindset that someone must've stolen it out of my purse in the store, when I wasn't looking. Just as I had begun to have a small breakdown, the sweet lady from the cash register runs out saying, "ma'am, is your wallet silver? because I think you left it on the counter." My oh my. What a silly moment! Yet another point that God just hit me! All I could think was "I think the Lord just really wants me to relax and enjoy everything he's given me."

It truthfully made my feel SO much better to just laugh at myself...to just take a few moments to be silly and enjoy the humor in life. So in this stressful season, take a few minutes to be reminded of why life is so beautiful and how the Lord relentlessly pursues us... even to the point of just trying to make us laugh when we're overwhelmed. Oh, How he loves us.

All about the Holiday's...

This is what holidays and vacations are about...

I am truly a non-stop, always-on-the-go, 24/7 kind of person. I am really involved at school, I try to invest my time, energy, and full attention into my family, fiancee', and friends as much as possible. I follow my heart and accept every challenge given to me-- even when I should say no. Therefore I am constantly tired. Dont' get me wrong I LOVE doing so much and having so many opportunities--but I am extremely pressed for time-- ALL the time.

This Thanksgiving holiday I came to Macon to spend it with my Father's side of the family, like I always do. :) And I was thrilled and excited--because they are beautiful, precious people with the most wonderful hearts. I was looking forward to the laughing, the ridiculous games, my Meme's amazing food, and some much needed "cousin-catch-up-time"-- but in the back of my mind I was also dreading the horrendous amount of school work I have due when I return to LaGrange from break.

A HUGE project, a 5 page research paper, problem solving packets, a case study...and the list goes on and on. I knew I was going to have to prioritize and be organized--but I was really disappointed that I was going to have to sacrifice some wonderful family time.

So I spent the night laughing, eating, and talking with them last night all the while slowly trucking away at this work load- little by little. After they all left, I DOVE in and tried to get much accomplished, because I hate the feeling of unfinished work hanging over my head while I'm trying to enjoy myself.

I was worried that I was going to be spending my thanksgiving day enjoying myself--but constantly being reminded of all I needed to do. I was debating working on some of it during apples to apples, and during the packers v. lions game-- but as I was contemplating what all I should do I got a very unexpected phone call.

My sweet, handsome, intelligent, and brave cousin Zak was calling me. Zak and I are barely 5 months apart and have spent our entire lives doing everything together. He is absolutely the closest thing I have to a brother. We grew up together, started middle school together, high school, learned to drive at the same time, we graduated at the same time-- we even got engaged during the same summer! We are practically twins-- but after high school Zak chose to join the military. He is truly an inspiration to me--because I would never be that brave. After a short year of all different kinds of training--Zak was called to leave his home, his fiancee', his family & his friends for a deployment to Vincienza, Italy.

Zak spent his Thanksgiving at 20 years old, away from his home, his family, and the love of his life for my freedom. My freedom to say what I want, act how I want, and be who I want. My freedom to use this day to THANK the Lord for all who HE is. I sat there on the phone listening to a man whom I place on a pedestal just call to tell me Happy Thanksgiving. It absolutely humbled me. It was kind and so pure.

So after I got off the phone I pictured Zak eating with his squad, at a precious stranger's house, that was kind enough to give them a place to eat and warm food. But as kind as these people are and as sweet as their gesture was-- I couldn't help but be sad that Zak couldn't be at home with my family and what a difficult challenge that would be for me.

So I silenced my worries about my school work. Is it important? Absolutely! Am I still going to have a LOT of work to do? Without a doubt. But I decided I was going to take this day to relax... to spend my day in the moment with my family. So that is what I did. I spent every moment enjoying their jokes, embracing their personalities, taking each hug I could get, trying to make them laugh, playing silly games and singing the night away...because I could never be more grateful to have the opportunity to spend my Thanksgiving in a warm, comfy home with family that I cherish and adore. And that is what the Holiday's are all about!

Becoming Who You Are.

I am learning so much these days...in fact, I am in information overload. Not only am I taking 13 hours of classes at LaGrange College- but I am CONSTANTLY learning about all kinds of new things--finding new interesting passions to be explored.


But since I am always on overload, I can't contain it all and I wanted an outlet to share. I want to tell you about my new ideas to ban plastic water bottles at LaGrange college to make a greater impact on healthy, cheaper water, or the pedagogy I'm developing to make sure I encourage the kids I will teach and my own children to be creative, brave, confident and unique--to make sure I, nor any other teacher, oppresses them. I want a place to inform all of my friends and family about the horrors behind Nike's sweatshops and encourage to know who they are buying from. A place to promote fabulous organizations who value community, love, selflessness, and justice-- like TOM'S, Land of 1,000 Hills Coffee, Invisible Children and more. A way to tell about my newfound love for gardening and organic farming.

But lastly, I want a place to express what kind of person I am becoming. I have spent a long time watching others and trying to find out who I'm supposed to be, but I am at a place now where I am confident in my faith, my morals, my family, my future husband, my friends, my standards, and the type of person I should be. And now that I have drawn a sketch of what my person looks like, I want to use these years to color my person in, draw their specific features, and become extraordinary.

So, I will use this blog for my lessons, adventures, passions, and education-- to better tell the story of a passionate pilgrimage. :)